Be Careful!

 52 Ancestors #52Ancestors #Week3

When I was a kid, I remember diligently but still frantically searching my parents’ file cabinet for proof of my adoption. I don’t resemble my mom, and I was absent from any “she looks just like…” at family gatherings. What I neglected to note until I was much older is that I’m something of a doppelganger for my DAD, much like my daughter is for her dad.

Adoption. Illegitimacy.  Affairs.  

I have had a few friends and acquaintances who have hired me to look into their family history, to document and report back. I know now, after a few experiences of my very own, that one of the very first things that must be discussed is, is the client (or more pointedly myself) prepared for what I may find.  What perhaps every family is likely to find, at some point in some branch of their family.

In 2020/21, more time at home allowed for additional genealogy time. This was serendipitous, as in the summer of 2018, my cousin and partner in crime and I became enmeshed in a joint battle to FIND ALL THE PEARSONS. 

I don’t recall when exactly I noticed the DNA match in my account, but a closely related cousin to me mother was eventually narrowed down to a possible cousin or even a possible sibling to my maternal grandmother.  My great-grandfather (Gram’s dad) was a notorious alcoholic and philanderer. What a gentlemanly sounding euphemism.  Truth be told, the man couldn’t behave, at all.  Neighbors and family functions were all fair game, so I’d been expecting a “find” like this for many years.  However, after probably a year of sleuthing and more than a few emails, I eventually received a response, and there was an additional element of surprise. The DNA match in question was not a sibling for Gram, but a cousin, because it turns out that her dad (Clyde the Philanderer) was the son of his married mother and a man who was not her husband.  Backing this up are the Y-DNA results of another cousin in my family which point to the man in question. Never had paid much attention to those previously, as they indicated to me as possible name change in the 1700’s - I just didn’t think enough about it.  I’ve since conversed with some of the grandchildren from both lines, and since the parents of Clyde have been dead for so long, chalk his parentage up to irony?

Another year, another great grandfather.  My aforementioned cousin/co-blogger has been more than worth her weight in gold when it comes to combing the internet for newspaper articles for both her family and mine. My great grandfather on my Dad’s side was a straight arrow - staunch Lutheran, married, two sons, same job for all of his days. He died when I was 2, but I have a letter in which he wishes to meet his first great-grandchild. Sadly, this couldn’t happen due to age and distance. Imagine my surprise when provided with a newspaper clipping pronouncing his divorce from someone who wasn’t his known wife of 40+ years, but also the mention of a daughter!  My grandpa and his brother had a sister, and none of them ever knew.  Phone calls were made to my dad, my aunt and one of their cousins, none of whom could attest to anyone ever having heard a peep of this news.  Pictures were exchanged with the sister’s children and grandchildren, who coincidentally had been doing DNA testing right around the time the newspaper clippings were being found.

Additional surprises have been and will continue to be found, I’m sure. They can be enriching, if you choose. It seems fair to conclude with a word of caution, though: Be careful of that which you seek, for you may find it!