None one living knows how Pete Winkel came by his story telling skills, but I'm happy to say there are lots of records of things he had to say. He wrote poems that were published in the paper, ranging from ode to an old friend and neighbor, to a lengthy reprimand of the powers working against the Farmer's Unions. He wrote his own biography (only several pages) when he was about 30, and I'm sure there were other letters sent and writings I haven't ever seen.
One of his personal writings, for familial eyes only perhaps, was humorous lines about his brother in law Bill Dykstra. Bill was married to Elsie Winkel's youngest sister Bertha, and when searching through newspapers, the Winkels and Dykstras are frequently in the social columns noted to be visiting with each other. I have had significant trouble identifying all of Elsie's sisters in photos, but I'm confident that Bertha makes appearances in many of them.
Back to poor Bill. He bought a pair of pants (these events really happened!), and things went south. I imagine, as good of friends that they seemed to have been, he took the following ribbing with the good humor with which it was intended! And I am left wondering how tall of a man he was!
BILL'S PANTS
One wintry days some years ago
When field and grove were filled with snow
Bill Dykstra cranked his Ford.
He had to go to Hull that day.
To buy some groceries and pay
Some rent to his landlord.
Bill's Model T, it spit and spat,
When it is cold they all do that,
And Bill's was no exception.
It coughed and heaved and sang its song,
But all the while it rolled along,
A wonderful contraption.
Bill stepped on her with all his might,
The town of Hull came in sight,
Where he would do his chore.
He parked his car on 2nd street
And then the beat a fast retreat,
To Kloek's department store.
Says Art to Bill, "Our sale today,
Is really giving stuff away,
Your purse need not be fat."
For fifteen bucks we sell this suit,
And then we also give to boot,
A necktie and a hat.
We also have some trousers Bill,
That are a wee bit odd, but still
They're strong they will not tear.
For instance take a look at this
This one it certainly won't miss,
To give you plenty wear.
Says Bill, "Those legs are much too long,
How do you know that they are strong?
And what's to be the price?
Says Art, "Your wife can shorten them
And on the bottom turn a hem,
And then they'll be real nice.
The price is just $1.98
And I want you to get this straight
Our ads they do not lie."
Says Bill, "That price it sure is right,
My wife can fix those legs tonight
Just wrap them up, I buy.
Friend Bill went home with spirits high,
All on account of his good buy,
That he from Art had bought.
He threw the package to his wife,
And said to her, "I bet your life
You can't guess what I've bought."
With hopes raised high, dear Bertha thought
That Bill a present must have bought
Of which she long had dreamed.
So when the pants came in to view,
t raised a great big mental stew,
That smoked and boiled and steamed.
"You good for nothing, use your wits,
Why don't you buy a pants that fits,
Your size is 31 --
I suppose you think I married you
To work my fingers black and blue,
And that I sew for fun."
While listening to this fierce tirade
Bill realized his error made,
So he turned to Della.
"I heard from Ma not long ago
That in the school you learneds to sew,
Could you help out a fellow?"
"I sure would like to help you Dad,
But what if it should turn out bad
And spoil your pants, Say Pa,
I think that Grandma's just the one
To get this quickly neatly done."
What do you say Grandma?
"Me fix those trousers, no siree
To thread the needle is for me,
The hardest thing to do.
Besides I think that Bertha's rightr
Let Bill fix his own pants tonight,
Not me, nor Ma, nor you."
Dejected and not feeling well,
Bill thhought and thought but would not tell
Of plans he had in store
He went to bed at 8 o'clock
Pretended sleeping like a rock
The folks could hear him snore.
But when they all had gone to sleep
Then Bill got up and took a peep
In Bertha's sewing box.
He found a needle and a thread
Fixed up his pants, went back to bed,
Then slept just like an ox.
About the middle of the night,
When everything was dark and quiet,
Then Della took a chance.
Her gentle heart it could not rest,
She planned to do her very best,
In fixing Daddy's pants.
She measured six inches with a rule,
And with her mother's cutting tool,
She cut right on that line;
She treated both the legs that way,
Sewed up the ends without delay,
And thought that it was fine.
When Bertha crawled out of the hay,
In early morning of the next day,
Her calm had been restored;
Gone was the mental storm that had
Destroyed the peace twixt her and dad,
she really loved her Lord.
I'll fix his pants both nice and neat,
Before the folks get up to eat,
Their pancakes and their toast;
She strained her eyes by lantern light
and did the job with all her might,
Of speed she surre could boast.
When Grandma opened up her eyes,
Amid some groans and heaves and sighs,
The pants was her first thought;
If I could get it in my room,
I'd fix it and dispel the gloom,
That bloomin' thing has brought.
She jumped from bed upon the floor,
Just as Bertha slammed the door;
She must be outside;
Quickly slipping on her gown,
She was as limber as a clown,
Thru kitchen door she spied;
She grabbed that pants from off the hook
And didn't take a second look
If it would need a trimming;
Those legs were shortened up once more
The fourth time since they left the store
Those pants sure got a rimming.
When Bertha had the pancakes done,
She went to Bill and just for fun,
Gave him a couple of hits;
She kissed him on his mouth and said
"Your pants are fixed, come out of bed,
And lets see how it fits."
Still groggy and amazed to hear
The gentle words rush in his ear
Bill's time to sleep has ended;
He rose from bed, got up and dressed
So as to look his very best
In trousers he had mended.
While Bill was working at this chore
Six eyes were peeking thru the door
To see what they could see;
The sight they saw they won't forget
It matters not how old they get
This can a lesson be.
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